Month: May 2022

Burned-out NYPD cop Bruce Willis is assigned the thankless task of escorting Yasiin Bey to testify at a courthouse sixteen blocks away. Unfortunately there are some on the street who will do anything to prevent that from happening. It’s a mostly forgettable, clichéd film that feels a lot like it would belong in the Die Hard franchise if they had ever allowed John McClane to grow older and more jaded. I like checking out Bey’s acting roles and have never been disappointed by his work. The same holds true for David Morse who here is unsurprisingly one of Willis’s NYPD colleagues.    

On the same ship from Italy to Peru as a custom-ordered, gorgeous golden coach is a commedia dell’arte troupe which includes the inimitable Anna Magnani. Once she arrives in Peru, she must balance the affections of three separate suitors when she only has eyes for the splendid coach. It’s a beautiful film to watch, especially the colorful costumes and stage backdrops of the acting troupe, but I often lost my interest in some of its repetitively slow parts. Magnani is glorious though as she demands attention from her audience both on and off screen.

Moments before she is set to marry her superstar boyfriend at their wedding/concert, Jennifer Lopez learns he has been cheating on her and instead picks divorced dad Owen Wilson out of the audience and marries him. The film world has been severely lacking in romantic comedies for years and this one surprisingly delivers. The premise is ridiculous and the script seems to accept this starting with the inane, yet catchy, songs and performances. Lopez and Wilson have a natural companionability between them, but it probably speaks to the dying genre that the leads aren’t the hottest twenty-something actors. Instead they are both in their fifties and they aren’t portraying a twilight years romance. 

When young teen Charlie Shotwell discovers an unfinished bunker near his home, he decides to hold his family captive in it. Shotwell’s character feels like he was teleported in from a Yorgos Lanthimos picture, but the rest of the film doesn’t know what to do with him. There’s an unsettled atmosphere in the woods and around the character, but that’s the only thing the film offers.

With the world on the verge of collapse, a group of friends gather at a country estate for what could be their last holiday together. The feeling of impending doom adds to the usual tensions that occur when people who have long history with each other get together with the children, in particular Roman Griffin Davis, providing blunt honesty at moments when the adults are being euphemistic. The film somehow manages to blend dark comedy with drama while keeping its Christmas aesthetic. It may not become a yearly tradition, but I definitely see this being added to the yearly December rotation.    

When a fan sends Ringo Starr a ceremonial ring, he finds himself hunted by a cult looking to use him for a human sacrifice. It’s disturbing how easy the rest of the Beatles are willing to sacrifice Ringo, or at least his hand, when some of the better methods for solving his predicament prove too difficult. I love the ridiculous design of the Beatles’ shared flat and the music videos that pad the runtime. It all feels like an extended episode of The Monkees, though that probably should be reversed.    

For Thanksgiving dinner, Beanie Feldstein invites her extended family to her new, currently unfurnished apartment that she shares with her partner Steven Yeun. Each of the family members is struggling with job and relationship issues and the feelings of isolation and unhappiness that comes with each. The dark, rundown apartment with its convoluted floorplan exacerbates how those feelings come across. The cast is top-notch with with Feldstein and Yeun joined by parents Richard Jenkins and Jayne Houdyshell, dementia-stricken grandmother June Squibb, and sister Amy Schumer. I don’t know why Thanksgiving films universally deal with family tension (it makes it hard to find something to relax to on the holiday), but this fits firmly in with the best of the genre.  

Kenneth Branagh’s Poirot’s Egyptian vacation is interrupted by an invite to join Gal Gadot and Armie Hammer on their honeymoon cruise down the Nile. I really enjoyed Branagh’s take on Murder on the Orient Express and this film brings the same glossy coating and bevy of well-known actors. Unfortunately this one is a step down in those regards with overly fake backgrounds and bland main characters. Still Branagh brings a lot of spirit to his character and some of the lesser roles, especially Russell Brand playing it straight, offer quite a bit of support to the production. Having recently travelled on a steamboat, the ship’s set is a gorgeous piece with beautiful art deco details.  

Despite a lack of talent, Jayne Mansfield’s gangster boyfriend Edmund O’Brien hires press agent Tom Ewell to make her a music star. Mansfield was certainly beautiful, but I wish Hollywood would have done something better for her than try to make her a Marilyn Monroe clone, all the way to platinum blonde hair that didn’t suit her. This film unfortunately didn’t even try. What does set it apart is its absolutely incredible number of musical performances from the likes of Little Richard, Abbey Lincoln, Fats Domino, and The Platters. They were more entertaining than the rest of the film. Being such a fan of Cinemascope, I did have a chuckle at the clever way they introduced the process at the beginning of the film. It actually threw me off when the film first started until I saw what they were doing.